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You:
Stranger: U made it
Stranger: and ur sad, why?
You: what?
You: i'm not sad
You: i'm just drunk
Stranger: Oh well im on the way there
You: it's 5:35 AM where I am:|
Stranger: hopefully i can catch up to u
Stranger: Wow where are u?
You: portugal
You: and u?
Stranger: US
You: oh ok:|
You: I received this site in my mail
Stranger: So is that ir drunk emote?
You: where they said
You: we could have fun here:|
You: emote?
You: wtf is that?
Stranger: the little face
Stranger: how drunk are u?
You: is there a scale for ut?:|
You: I still can type in my keyboard
Stranger: I dont think so
Stranger: Well thats good
You: and I managed to open my door
You:
Stranger: u just got home?
You: yes:|
Stranger: where were u?
You: I came to the computer to masturbate before I go sleep
You: and decided to read my mail:|
Stranger: Wow thanks for sharing
You: and here I am:|
You: np:|
You: well, I was in bars
Stranger: alone?
You: no
You:
You: with my friends
Stranger: girlfriend?
You: no:|
Stranger: are u a guy or a girl
You: if I had anything like that I wouldn't be talking to you
You: a guy and you?:|
Stranger: same
You:
Stranger: What?
You: you could be a pretty hot damn girl
You: and be interested in me
Stranger: Ok im a girl
You: and I would buy a ticket to the US
Stranger: im very insterested
Stranger: telll me more about urself
You: we would have sex
You: I would fuck your ass without a condom
You: and them cum in your mouth
You: you would say it tasted like shit
Stranger: yummy
You: and I would laugh about it:|
Stranger: and then what?
You: I don't know
Stranger: u would only fuck me once?
You: usually after I cum
Stranger: is that all u got big boy?
You: I fell asleep:|
You: i'm not a big boy
You: i'm like 1.50m
You: that's i don't know how many inches:|
You: and I have a very small dick
You:
Stranger: It's ok
Stranger: do u know how to move?
You: that's why I manage to have anal sex;:|
You: yes
You: I call the companye
You: *companie
You: and they move the stuff
Stranger: Nice!
You: for 25€/hour:|
Stranger: I cant wait till u get here!
You: where?:|
Stranger: U said u would come to the US
Stranger: ur that drunk u already forgot?
Stranger: U dont want to fuck me no more?
You: oh:|
You: you're a guy dude
Stranger: lmao I know
You: i'm not that drunk:|
Stranger: hahaha u said to pretend
Stranger: hahaah omg u are that drunk
Stranger: hahahahaah thats funny
You: if I was I would already sitting on the top of someone:|
Stranger: OH WOW
Stranger: thanks again for sharing
You: dude, is your life that bad that you need to talk with me?:|
You: I bet you weight more than 100Kg
Stranger: No not bad at all I'm just bored.
Stranger: EWW hell no
You:
You: damn:|
Stranger: Ur the one with the small dick not me
You: I can't really find someone worst than me:|
Stranger: Awww
Stranger: dont beat urself up
You: well, at least I can park it anywhere:|
Stranger: ur a fun guy
You:
Stranger: well atleast u made me laugh that has to mean something right?
Stranger: ur not so bad
Stranger: so stop being a bitch
You: HAHA
Stranger: so how is Portugal now days?
You: dunno:|
Stranger: What do u mean u dont know?
You: it's like it has always been
Stranger: I thought u were from over there
You: at least we don't have a black president:|
Stranger: Well I've never been there.
Stranger: Well thats racist.
You:
You: it's not racist
Stranger: Well I dont think u meant that in a good way did u?
You: it's TV from the 60's:|
You: no:|
You: we use the black dudes here
Stranger: oh well it doesnt really affect me.
You: to have criminality
You: and to work int he construction:|
Stranger: Good thing I dont work
You: and for some porns
Stranger: hahahahaha
You: because they have big dicks:|
Stranger: and u envy them?
You: no:|
You: they are black:|
You: they can't go to the beach and get tanned
Stranger: I meant for their dicks not for the color of their skin
You: they can only get... "blacker"?:|
Stranger: No I don't think so.
Stranger: If that would be so that would be fucked up
You: yeah, neither do I
You: they can't go darker than they already are:|
Stranger: So what are u gonna beat off too?
Stranger: to*
You:
You: my english is not that good
Stranger: It's ok!
You: to understasnd that:|
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: nevermind then
You: which one shall I download: "Great lesbians women licking eachother!!" or "Russian dude has the time of his life with these chicks!!"
You: I like russian people:|
You: they beat their wifes like we do here:|
Stranger: the lesbian ones
Stranger: thats not nice
You: why not?
You: the next thing you're going to say is that women also vote in america
You: and that they can think
You: HAHAHAHA
Stranger: No i dont think they can vote
Stranger: but the word is that some of them have thoughts
You: yeah
Stranger: so which one are u downloading?
You: they think about what they have to clean next
You: and what they need to cook:|
You: well... both of course:|
Stranger: hahahahahaha
Stranger: Why dont u just go to xtube or something?
You: ~I already download all that stuff
You: I'm a pro wanker:|
Stranger: I bet you are.
Stranger: so where did u learn english?>
You: in school
You:
Stranger: How old are u?
You: 21:|
You: and you?:|
Stranger: Oh wow
Stranger: for some reason I thought u were older
Stranger: whats the drinking age over there?
Stranger: I'm 23
You: drinking age?
You: what's that?
You: here in portugal we have something called
Stranger: When u are allowed to drink
You: "sopas de cavalo cansado"
You: which we eat at breakfast
You: i know it's misspelled
Stranger: and what does that have to do with anything I asked?
You: but I don't want to write it well
You: and basicly that's whine
You: with bread
Stranger: Sopa de Caballo cansado?
Stranger: Tired horse soup?
You: yes:|
Stranger: whats in it?
You: when I said it's whine with bread
You: I didn't mean to say that
You: what I really meant to say was
You: that it's whine with bread:|
Stranger: oh
You: I know I've written some english mistakes, but I don't really want to think alot:|
You: about what I write:|
Stranger: It's ok I don't mind I can understand what ur sayin
You: I know:|
Stranger: I have to pee i will be right back
Stranger: whats ur name?
You: Asdrubalino Cunha
You: and your's?:|
You: I also have to pee
You: let's pee crossways
You: I hold your dick
You: and you hold mine
You: you try to write my name in the wall with my piss
You: and I try to write yours with mine:|
You: here in portugal when you're 18 we do that with our father
You: and than he pays us a hooker
You: that fucks with us for the first time in our lives
You: bur she can't be black
Stranger: are u serious?
You: otherwise she'll have sexual desieses:|
Stranger: my name is Sam
You: yes:|
You: don't you do that in the US?:|
Stranger: NO
You:
OOOOO
You: you are weird:|
Stranger: what do u look like? Im curious!
You: I look good:|
Stranger: Let me see a picture.
You: do you know Ron Jeremy?
Stranger: Yes
You: I look like him
You: but not so fat:|
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: do u have a picture?
You: it's forbidden in portugal to take pictures
You: because of the dictoship
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahaha
Stranger: sure it is
You: really
Stranger: well i think thats absurd!
You: if they catch us taking fotos
You: they take our eyes
You: out of our faces
You: and feed it to the royal guards
Stranger: thats a little bit extreme isnt it?
You: at least that's what they say
You: well, I can understand it
You: our leader wants the best for us
You: and if he says that I believe him
Stranger: and your leader is who?
You: Luís Filipe Vieira
You: is our leader
You: Vénia ao Grande Líder Senhor Vieira que Sempre Nos Guiarás!
You: that's something we have to say everytime we talk about Luís Filipe Vieira.
You: Vénia ao Grande Líder Senhor Vieira que Sempre Nos Guiarás!
Stranger: I thought he had something to do with sports
You: he has something to do with everything
You: Vénia ao Grande Líder Senhor Vieira que Sempre Nos Guiarás!
Stranger: Wasnt he the chairman of the sports club?
You: He's the chairman of a lot of things
You: Vénia ao Grande Líder Senhor Vieira que Sempre Nos Guiarás!
You: of nearly everything
Stranger: thats kinda boring
You: why?
Stranger: it just kinda is boring
Stranger: and btw i dont believe shit
You: that doesn't make sense
You: and I bet you are a spy
Stranger: exactly u are not making sense
You: we were worn about guys like you
Stranger: YEah sure im a spy
You: I'm going to tell the authoryties about you
You: !!!
Stranger: You are like one of those friends
Stranger: that theyre cool when u go out
Stranger: but once theyre drunk ur like uhmmm ok i gotta go
You: don't try to be my friend now!
You: I know what you are trying to do!
Stranger: I am certainly not trying to be ur friend
You: Luís Filipe Vieira worned me about guys like you...
You: Vénia ao Grande Líder Senhor Vieira que Sempre Nos Guiarás!
Stranger: what did Lucilo Baptista say about me?
You: he said you are from sporting:|
Stranger: YEah and NOT STUPID
You: that's something he wouldn't say:|
Stranger: I beg to differ
You:
Stranger: OH yeah ur english i forgot
Stranger: i disagree
You: dude:|
Stranger: What?
You: I'm terribly sorry
Stranger: About?
You: but my mother is already waking up
Stranger: Ok
You: and I have to pretend that I'm already asleep
Stranger: Ok
You: I need to go to bed
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: have a good morning sleep
You: before she tells the police
Stranger: lmao
Stranger: oh dear lord
You: that I wasn't already asleep:|
Stranger: go on now!
You: and then the police would come
You: they would rape her
Stranger: and rape u
Stranger: Oh close enough
You: and I would have to assist that
Stranger: ewww
You: and you can't imagine the pubic hairs that my mother has:|
You: I just don't want to see that:|
Stranger: I don't want to thanks
You: do you knwo chewbaka?:|
Stranger: OK enough
You: *cca:|
You: it's like that
You: but without hair in the face
You: and in the boobs:|
You: btw:|
Stranger: You know you used to be cool
You: have you ever seen a belly button between two teets?
Stranger: What? that doesnt even make sense!
You: that's because you haven't seen my mother's teets yet:|
You: *teats
Stranger: what does that word even mean?
You: it's teets than:|
You: I guess
You: in german it's tits:|
Stranger: u mean breast?
Stranger: like boobs?
You: yes:|
Stranger: TITS
You: tits:|
Stranger: not teets
Stranger: DUMB ASS
You: well, sometimes we try to complicate what's easy:|
Stranger: I have my doubts about ur drunkness
You:
Stranger: Anyways
Stranger: did U see in the news that Aliens invaded England?
You: we don't have news here in portugal from other countries
You: because it's all lies:|
Stranger: You're full of it.
You:
Stranger: Full of shit.
Stranger: So what does it feel to walk around with a dick up your ass?
You: it feels better than walk around with a watermelon up my ass:|
Stranger: Well I wouldn't know!
You:
Stranger: did U jacked off yet?
You: no
Stranger: and what are u waiting for then?
Stranger: is ur connection slow?
You: for you to leave:|
Stranger: shitty porn?
Stranger: for me to leave?
Stranger: I was here first bitch!
You: there's no such thing as shitty porn:|
Stranger: OH BELIEVE ME THERE IS!
You: no it isn't
You: give me an example:|
Stranger: like porn from the 70's or earlier
Stranger: that is some fucked up crap
Stranger: or Beastiality thats wrong! just plain wrong
You: that's good porno:|
You: well, I'm really going to sleep:|
You: i'm already tired:|
Stranger: OK take care have a good life.
You: thank's for amusing me:|
Stranger: its ok u can wank off later.
Stranger: Thanks for amusing me u fake drunk!
You: so that we know
Stranger: What?
You: that we are talking to each other
You: everytime you talk to someone
You: you type this
You: Vénia ao Grande Líder Senhor Vieira que Sempre Nos Guiarás!
You:
Stranger: omg u gonna make up a word or something?
You: yes:|
Stranger: andhow the hell am i gonna remember that?
Stranger: that is way to fucking long
You: c/p it:|
You: to a doc:|
Stranger: why dont u just give me ur myspace or something
You: because we aren't allowed to have one here in Portugal:|
Stranger: omg again with that shit
Stranger: alright then
