Quote:
A woman asked her grandmother how her grandfather had died. "He had a heart attack while we were making love one Sunday morning," Granny said. Horrified, the granddaughter told her that two people that old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh, no," said Granny. "Many years ago we realized that ringing church bells provided the perfect rhythm: in on the ding and out on the dong." She paused, wiped away a tear, and continued, "But then the ice-cream truck came along."
Quote:
A policewoman pulls over a drunk driver and asks him to step out of the car.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be used against you."
The driver replies, "Breasts."
Quote:
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
The manager runs up to the man and shouts, "What are you doing?!"
The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
Quote:
A shy guy goes into a bar, sees a beautiful woman, and says, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Completely embarrassed, he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a psych student studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean, $200?"
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